Tag: existential questions

Judgment

Finding truth seems much harder now than ever before. And I have sympathy – and no small amount of respect – for those among us who reserve their judgment because they don’t know what to believe. I believe in not judging any situation until you know enough to understand the essence of the issue and the conflict.

But I also believe in two other things: first, data and statistics; and second, that people are the same. Or rather that groups of people are the same in all ways that matter. And that it doesn’t take a whole lot of individuals to build a representative sample of humankind.

So what?

So if a group of people is getting dramatically different outcomes from the outcomes of other groups of people, then there is certainly something fundamentally different in their specific experience, and that difference lies outside themselves.

Take African-American men, for example.

I believe if you randomly assemble a group of African-American men, you will have a normal distribution of smart and dumb ones, tall and short ones, ones with glasses and braces and speech impediments, calm ones and hot-headed ones, rule-breakers and rule-followers, loyal and disloyal ones, and on and on for almost every other trait you can think of. What you won’t have is a normal distribution of age, of incarceration, of life expectancy. And since I believe that any group of people is essentially the same as any other group of people, those statistical deviations from the norm are not inherent in the group of African-American men, but rather result from external forces acting on that group. So something out of the ordinary is happening to African-American men. And it’s having a significant negative impact on them.

So do I need to understand the details of every shooting of an African-American man to judge that something is very much amiss in how that particular group is experiencing life in our great nation? I don’t think so. And that mortality, the worst outcome imaginable, should inspire those of us who believe in both data and essential human equality to move off the I-can’t-judge sideline and into action.

Death

I am 56 years old. I am going to die.

I’m not sick. In fact, I’m active and healthy. I’m not a reckless driver. I haven’t had a premonition of my demise. I don’t really know why it’s been on my mind, but my death has been a mental presence for more than a year.

I read Being Mortal about 18 months ago. I read When Breath Becomes Air about 2 months ago. Were the thoughts there, or did the reading put them there? I have no idea.

Yet I know I am going to die. And so I’ve been thinking about what I can do before then. What I want to do. Whether or not I have the requisite courage to try bold ideas I have, or whether I will settle for meeker paths.

I am smart. Maybe even very smart. I really want to help people be happier, which I think means being healthier. I am curious, and I’m observant. I see what people are, and I don’t begrudge them what they are not. I see things clearly that many other people don’t see at all.

But I’m reluctant to impose, and I think asking anything of anyone is an imposition. I am shy unless I know you. And writing the previous paragraph makes me feel like a self-impressed jerk. Can I do anything but meek?

My questions aren’t about value: I feel conscientious enough that whatever I do I do well enough – or even better than that. I am competent in many things. But I care about relatively few things. So my questions are about how true I can be to my own values. My current skills – and my confidence – don’t align with my ambitions. I tell my children to be brave, to pursue their ambitions, that they will develop the knowledge, skills and experiences that will lead to success in their goals. But I’m 56. With obligations. Do I have time? Do I have energy?

I believe it’s never too late for someone to do something new. Do I believe it’s never too late for me?