I see my older daughter Callie most Fridays for coffee before we begin work. It is one of my greatest joys, and I regret that my younger daughter Addie and I don’t live close enough to do the same (instead we talk by phone on Wednesday evenings).
Callie and I talk about all manner of things, and while our relationship will always retain the parent-child dynamic – heck, that dynamic still remains between my parents and me at my age of 62 – I think we’ve moved past it in many regards. I delight when she gives a different perspective to mine, and she does that now regularly.
Last week she talked extensively about her wedding.
She’s not engaged yet. And the timing of her wedding is uncertain, but according to her it is at least another 18 months off. So why were we discussing her wedding?
I’m not sure.
Callie just started talking about it, and there was no diverting her. (Not that I tried very hard. I might indulge my daughters just a bit.) It was clearly on her mind, and when Callie has something on her mind, it tends to come out. She never could keep a secret, and she doesn’t do a great job of keeping her thoughts restrained either. No one ever has to worry about subterfuge with Callie.
And, boy, did she have thoughts. Lots and lots of them. She was very animated, and the ideas were just spilling out of her. The possibilities are nearly endless, and she was knocking them down with alacrity. Outdoor wedding. Remote location. Something in the area. Party. Dinner. Friends playing songs in the wedding. A simple ceremony. Family staying together before, during, and after. Flower dudes. Lots of attendants. Few attendants. Lots of friends. Small wedding. No bridesmaids’ gowns or tuxedos.
I’m usually pretty outspoken with my kids, but I couldn’t get a word in.
On reflection, I think this might presage some imminent change in her relationship status. I suspect an engagement announcement might be soon forthcoming.
Perhaps on Monday, five days from now.
My suspicions were heightened last night when my younger daughter asked their mother and me for a family Zoom call on Monday evening, and when I pointed out that we have many days between now and then Addie replied that she and Callie were busy. And then Callie cancelled our standing coffee date tomorrow morning, claiming illness.
It’s possible Callie is ill, though she hasn’t missed work as far as I can tell from her BeReal posts this week. It’s possible Addie has some news for us, though the last time she initiated a family conference it was to tell us that she was going to finish her degree in Audio Engineering but was going to pursue a career in animal conservation instead. Hard to imagine what is going on in her life that rises to that level of importance, especially since I spoke with her for an hour just yesterday.
No, I think it’s more probable that Callie is sporting an engagement ring she doesn’t want me to see, and that she’s enlisted her sister to help her organize the announcement. I could certainly be wrong, but I suspect that soon our family will be growing by one son-in-law.
And I’m very fine with that.
Epilogue
So it seems I was more than a little off-base about this call.
Our daughters called my soon-to-be-ex-wife and me on the carpet about the information we have been sharing with them about our divorce. I was surprised, Dawn less so, which leads me to think I may have been a misdemeanor offender (but an offender nonetheless). Still, I applaud the courage our children have in tackling the issue and setting their boundaries.
But, at least for the moment, there is no wedding to plan.